Kids and food....if I knew then...

Hindsight is no one's friend. The "Monday morning quarterback" to quote my husband. That clarity that seems to only come after a situation is over and you've learned the hard lessons the hard way. I love to stew in hindsight. I love to long to redo past mistakes - to take my new knowledge back in time and do things better. It's toxic and I don't recommend it.

One thing that helps me rise above beating myself up over not handling something as well as I could have should I have "known then what I know now" - is paying it forward. As a nutrition educator, this is something I have the great privilege to do in my chosen career when it comes to feeding children.

My poor kids. God love them and their patience with me. Oh my. They had the great misfortune of being just 2 and 5 when I had my aha moment (aka, panicked realization) that my husband and I seriously needed to change our eating habits. Without the knowledge and experience I have now, I of course went off the deep end,...restricting them and us, controlling, worrying them and myself to death.

As I learned about the teachings of Ellyn Satter in graduate school and from various mentors, I began trying to implement them at home. I worried it was too late, and I still so wish I had known about these practices from day one of being a Mom/feeder of littles. But, my girls are now 10 and 13 and I think they're okay and we've rebounded from the days of balancing "Just one more bite please" with "I think you've had enough." Yikes, Mom.

So here are the basics that I've culled down from Satter's teachings and my own trial and error. If we work together and you have kids, we could delve into these practices a bit deeper if you're inclined.

1. Parents choose what and when children eat

2. Children choose how much

That's it. Two simple guidelines that are so profound and true. Satter calls this the "Division of Responsibility," and of course there's a lot more to it, but it really can be boiled down to these two ideas above.

Think about it like this: we are born with the ability to instinctively, innately know how much we need to eat at a given time. It's one of the most magical aspects of breastfeeding. A baby stops feeding when she/he feels full. A breastfeeding mother does not know if the baby actually took 2 ounces or 10 ounces, but the baby releases the latch because the baby feels full.

Unfortunately, we as parents (guilty!) take away that instinct by thinking we know how much they should eat at a given meal once solids are introduced - which is weird, because they live in their bodies, we don't.

Sometimes they're really hungry. Sometimes they're not. I don't intend to oversimplify or insinuate feeding kids is easy. It's not. But these methods can help.

Kids are not going to starve. They are innately programmed against letting this happen, just like they know when they feel full. If allowed, children will eat what they need to naturally grow into the body that is healthiest for them. This might be bigger or smaller than the narrow views offered in our world today, but the important thing is this: if we offer nourishing food and we ourselves eat nourishing food as a model for them, that's the best we can do. They can handle the rest, and the earlier we allow this, the better. Trust me, and my hindsight.